Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Surgeons can be funny

I have two really important blog posts that I have to write soon, but The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim won't let me live my life, play the game, and do full blog posts.  Something has to give, and since the blog is the latest comer to the stage, it shall wait.  Not to worry, though; I will satiate your thirst for musings with the following very partial list: Things you don't want to hear your surgeon say right before you go under anesthesia.  Picture it: You are naked and IV'ed in the operating room.  The anesthesiologist has placed a mask over your face and told you to breath normally.   Your doctor is gloved and waiting for you to pass out, and just before you do, he/she looks down and says:

"Let's play a game..."

"You know, sometimes in surgery the anesthesia doesn't work but the paralytic does.  The patient wakes up in the middle but can't move or talk.  It's happened to my patients here 12 times, but I'm sure you'll be fine."

"I'm going to be doing this lefty today.  I have a golf tournament this weekend and don't want to take the chance of straining my right wrist."

"See this hat?  It's my cuttin hat.  I cuts the people in this hat."

"You look like a person who would enjoy having a few extra holes here'n'there."

"Dude, I just saw 'The Human Centipede'.  It was AWESOME!!"

"I'm sorry about this, but Jose is giving 20grand for livers now.  I'd be a fool to pass that up!"

"It's good thing this was scheduled today.  If it had been last night, I would be trying to do this while tripping balls on LSD.  Let's get started Elmo; we have to pull Kermit out of this rabbit hole!"

"My name is Inigo Montoya..."

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