The "N-Word" and You

I don’t want to just to fill this blog-space with racial stuff, but lately I haven’t filled it with anything at all so...

Here’s the deal: I really don’t care if you call me a nigger. Is the word offensive? Yes. If you tweet it at me, will I block you? Yes. If you say it to my daughter, will I END YOU in retaliation for compromising her innocence? Fuck yes. However, the word itself can’t hurt me.

Like all black people in America, I’m conditioned to respond automatically to the word nigger when said by a white person with incredulous indignation. When I hear it, I feel a completely reflexive stab of anger that is the product of my father’s tales of racial strife in the 60s.  This is a feeling rooted essentially in hearsay and largely disingenuous. However that initial white-hot sensation is always quickly replaced by my genuine feelings, fatigue. That’s it. It just makes me feel tired. I’m just tired of racism, all it represents, and all the problems it causes, but there’s no real anger there. My inability to drum up any real vitriol in response to this particular racial trigger is a constant annoyance to bigots who toss the word around trying to illicit a response, and for that, I apologize. I mean how is a “self-respecting” bigot supposed start the conflicts upon which he feeds if his primary weapon is useless? Well, there is way, but I’ll save that for the end.

The problem with “nigger” is that it says nothing about me. I’m not a nigger. I have never been a nigger. In fact, I CAN’T be a nigger even if I was so inclined. I wasn’t raised to think of myself as anything but my best self. I received the best education possible in my rather small town and have largely made good on that potential. The willful ignorance that is the stock and trade of the nigger just isn’t present in me. How can I get mad at a word that literally has nothing to do with me? I can’t. I’m just too logical for that.

But the word “nigger” does still serve a purpose in The Great American Race War. Anytime you see a white person and hear them say “nigger”, you know immediately you’re dealing with a bigot. Notice I didn’t say “racist”. If you live in America, you’re racist regardless of your race. I know, I know; you have friends of every color, you’re fourth cousin is a quarter Native American, and your uncle marched on Selma. You’re still racist. You can’t help it. Racism is just a part of our character as Americans, and we will have to accept that if we are going to get passed it. Sorry, digressing...coming back...The word “nigger” is like a billboard over the head of the white person that says it that reads, “Hi, I’m a fucked-up backwards thinking bigot! Don’t bother listening to me as I my thoughts are not worth your consideration.” This can be a real time-saver. Rather than me sitting through long minutes of conversation trying to figure out if you’re a bigot, I can just acknowledge you as a bigot and move on. When you think about the situation this way, a bigot calling you a nigger is almost like a public service announcement.

So how can the well-meaning bigot hope to get a rise out of me if the big-gun is impotent? Simple, call me African-American. I will get angry immediately. To me there is literally nothing more offensive than to be called African-American. Why? Because, the only reason the term exists is so white bigots can call black people something besides “nigger” in public. It’s a whitewash term of insidious power. It allows bigots to hide behind a paper-thin veil of political correctness while simultaneously robbing me of my primary identity. I am not African-American. I am American, and I am black. Black describes my background, because being black in America is a distinct and unique experience that shapes my everyday life. It is my identity, my support, and my pride. I have no connection what-so-fucking-ever to Africa and don’t want any. I’ve met African men in my travels, and we don’t get along. African women and I get along famously, but I’m married so that can only cause trouble. I have no truck with The Dark Continent, and that’s exactly how I like it. So, how can a term like African-American have anything to do with me? It’s not like Italian-American or Native-American because those terms actually describe the people to which they are attached. Italian-Americans are proud of their connection to Italy, and the culture they grew up with reflects that fact, same with Native-Americans. African-American has no value at all as a descriptor of blacks in America and the culture that shapes us. It fact it seeks to essentially strip us of that culture. When you call someone African-American you are saying,” I’m using this term instead of nigger, because that’s offensive. I can’t call you black, but that’s is of course inherently shameful, and I don’t want you to feel embarrassed. So, I’ll just call you something that means absolutely nothing. This way you can’t get mad, but I still get to be superior to you. This is a win-win for me!”

Fuck you. Take your “African-American” and shove it right up your own ass, because I have no use for it.

So, there you have it. Confused? Don’t be. If you have to refer to a black person’s race, calling them black is more than acceptable; all other terms are fraught with troubles.